Just Chewing the Fat

If you did not already know, this trip around the world was planned really quickly. In preparation, which was only about a month, Jack and I picked up a spanish language book, booked some flights with STA Travel and tours with G.A.P. and that's about all. We did consult a few travel books beforehand in order to design a general route. As we go along we pick up more travel books, mainly Lonely Planet guides, which steer us in a certain direction. We rely on them for first contacts with a new place, such as a place to sleep or the recommended sites in an area. Then we go it on our own. For the most part, we've found these guides helpful, sometimes off and sometimes really spot on.

Well, one thing that was absolutely right on in the Lonely Planet of Southeast Asia was the description of travel in and around Laos. Getting to the border was relatively painless, a bit uncomfortable in a rickety old bus where our seats shook uncontrolably. Then we took a tuk tuk to the border, where we climbed into a long boat to cross the Mekong. Again a bit uncomfortable, but for the two minute crossing it was quiet and peaceful, despite the smoke coming from some European's cigarette. Next up our bus from Huay Xia on the border to Luang Nam Tha. You could say this was our real introduction to Lao travel.

Crammed into a bus, sitting knees jammed into a seat back made of metal, arm to arm with an old man who really did not want to give up any space, with my nose covered to avoid the smell of vomit coming from not one, but two, people a row behind me, I honestly thought it could not get worse. That's when it started to rain. I realized, with some horror, that our bags were on top of the bus packed between 15 motorcycles. All we could do was wait it out and hope we didn't hit any small children playing too close to the road, or chickens for that matter.

In the end, it could have been worse, they could have fallen off the bus. We just had to endure days of airing out everything from socks to photocopies of our passports. At least we got to unpack! The bus experience was bad enough though that we decided to take a van on our next journey. That is, of course, after we hit up a local tourism office in Luang Nam Tha to go on a few days hike.

Our hike started off really well. Small packs, water, a guide who barely spoke English, and some food for lunch. By the time lunch rolled around, we had passed through amazing rice paddies and headed into the mountains. Our guide took a palm leaf and turned it into a bowl, held in place by a small stick, for our spicy tomato dip. (It is now a skill I seek to acquire.) The lunch of sticky rice, aubergines, meat with spices and tomato dip was great. In fact, we thought that Laotian cooking was on par with Thai cooking at first. That was before we realized how bland it could be and the fact that every meal on the two day hike included sticky rice, breakfast too and desserts. You could say that by the end of our time in Laos we never wanted to see sticky rice again.

The best part of our hike was due mainly to the people we met, far more than the sites we saw. Although that included some of the prettiest countryside I've ever seen, complete with dense forest and large palms. Basically imagine all of the Vietnam movie sceens you've seen and there you have it. We traveled through 5 different hill tribe villages on our way and stayed the night with one. Families in the village we stayed with take turns playing host to the hikers. The family who hosted us was made up of one woman and her two daughters (there was a third daughter, who lived in another camp because she was married; the woman's husband was in the army). They made us wonderful food, sticky rice included, and introduced us to Laolao. This drink, if you ever visit Laos and have occasion to drink it, is toxic! We, though, had our share before heading down to a village party for an engaged couple.

Just a side note, in Laos a couple says they are going to marry and then has a year of engagement where the girl leaves her family to live with his. In some tribes the couple live in a small house, practicing if you will, and if by the end of a year she is not pregnant, or he believes she won't get pregnant, he has the right to leave her for another engagement. I learned that my hostess had left her village 20 years before and had never been back. She had only seen her parents twice, when they made the trip to visit her. She cried telling us, and I did too.

At the party we were introduced to the chief and the engaged couple, who walked around serving more Lao lao. They do not believe in drinking an odd number of shots, they say that doing that will make you unstable and fall. Two legs, even drinks. So it seemed we could never have just one more, it always meant two! That said, we were having a nice time and making friends with the men at our table. One man, the village mute (he could not speak or hear well) was particularly kind to us. He motioned for me to eat something off of his chopsticks and I foolishly tried to take it off with my fingers. This is perhaps where I made the biggest error. Whatever it was dropped on the ground! He nicely picked up another piece from the bowl with its inoccuous substance, this time I ate it right off the sticks. I was mid-chew, speculating that it was fish of some kind, when Jack was fed a piece and informed me it was fat. FAT! I almost lost it. No one could understand what we were saying, but it took everything in my will power not to show it on my face. Apparently the fat is considered the best part and only offered to honored guests. Sweet (and oh so gross).

The next morning we woke up to the roosters before dawn, complaining of our heads and wishing we had just had a bit less lala. (At some point in the night I stopped calling in Lao lao and started saying lala instead. Needless to say, this has stuck.) We fell back asleep before having a hearty meal of sticky rice and veggies and heading out to make the longer portion of our hike. It turned into the longest day possible. At some point, I'm not sure if it was before or after we hiked up a steep incline where our guide had to get out his machete to chop away the overgrown brush, he told us it would only take two more hours. That two hours turned into about four and a half. Lesson: Do not drink too much lala in Laos. Even though it is cheaper than beer, it is their version of moonshine.

Before we set off we were able to stop by a organization called Big Brother Mouse to buy some books for local children, so as we went we gave them out and left a bunch for the village we stayed in. We enjoyed the organization so much that we found them in Luang Prabang too and hosted a book party at a nearby school. In all, I think about 150 books were donated. The organization is amazing because it helps the local Lao children read, giving them a book which can later be swapped at school for another book. Unlike at home, most Lao kids don't have books of their own, and they do not have libraries to borrow from.

Thanks to our families for sponsoring the book party with us - we had a great time! If you want to learn more about Big Brother Mouse go to

In Luang Prabang we had a wonderful time walking around the town, which still exudes remnants of its French colonial past. We bought fabulous French baguettes and I drank some of the best coffee I've ever had. (Please try the Lao coffee if you get the chance). We ate at a great restaurant, named Tamirind after the beans that help with hangovers (our hosts on the trek gave Jack some of these the morning after lala) and run by a Laotian and an Australian. It was there that we realized Lao food, no matter how fancy it looks, is not as flavorful as Thai food. We still enjoyed it though.

We witnessed monks receiving their morning meals at dawn, and were scammed by a couple of kids who took us out in their boat and guided us into a cave that should have been completely closed off to everybody! To make it short, we wanted to go to the Paku Caves, with their hundreds of Buddha statues, but we were cheap and decided to let a couple of kids take us. They said, cave, Buddha, no problem. So we went. Where we went was somewhere else, across the river, not 2 hours down it, and up a hill to a path leading to a decrepit cave. We had fun though, and still laugh about how I almost electrocuted myself by just turning a switch, to which one of the kids went, "No, uhhhhhhhhh" making a shaking action as he did so. This was my warning that I could electrocute myself. Nice.

A lot of people ask us what place we like the best. We have a few. And I know I'm leaving a lot out here, but I can honestly say that I loved Laos. I would go again in a heartbeat. I would take all of it, the bad bus, the lala, the bland food, the craziness, and most definitely the people. They are the real gems.